I hate school. I hate dance. I hate everything. Roar to everything associated with SR apart from darling friends.

Yesterday had to hand in the damned GPF. I woke up late for one thing and thought I'd just ask somebody to forge my signature but in the end my group member persuaded me to come so I got ready and left the house looking like a mad woman and stood by the side of the road to get a freakin cab. It seriously didn't help that no cab was in sight/all cabs were busy/those that were free just zoomed past me PLUS William from TK crossed the road at that instant so I pretended I was busy focusing all my concentration on the traffic but the unavoidable smile and wave came and I could have just slapped my forehead there and then. Basket! Me looking like that.

Anyway in school Gan took up so much unnecessary time doing the stupid thing that I felt like just walking out the door but I couldn't do that to my group. AND THEN... Francesca wrongly paginated everything so I had to redo the first copy and I could have just broken-down. And then I got a message about a last minute dance practices and I seriously just lost it. Went to the toilet for a while to relax and calm down.

I think that was a really bad day. And I also think that I was a bit cranky which was why I was so emotional. I walked around the whole day looking as if my rabbits had just died which lead to people keep on asking me the classic questions "What's wrong?" and "Are you okay?" so I just grinned to make them feel better. I know, what's the point right?

So get this, tomorrow(today, rather) I have dance for four(4) hours. Yes, It's true :( Four freakin hours. Tell me why the freak do we need to have so many hours of practice for just one stupid show on the 5th of December which is not even a real show cos it's just a performance for the the JC2s on their graduation night. Does it matter? Seriously? Does it freaking matter? We're not even gonna be that good. Yes, I'm cynical but seriously. DO THEY HONESTLY THINK THEY'RE GONNA ROCK THE WHOLE PARTY? People won't give a damn. I mean it's their night, they'll forget about us by the end of the night. God!

Sigh. I don't know why it's so different now. I love dancing. In TK when we had performances I was willing and enthusiastic about going for rehearsals and stuff no matter how long we had to take. It's just the team. I don't get the team. I guess I'm not really one of them. I mean firstly, there's the language barrier cos of their frequent bantering in Mandarin. I don't mind but I think it's pretty obvious I don't understand what they're talking about but do they care? Nope. And they're just so different I guess. The screaming and the hugging and the kissing and the cute-ness is just SO not me. It's hard to fit in. Maybe cos it's cos I'm the "biggest girl in dance." Blah. If only I wasn't so insecure then I wouldn't care. I feel like just quitting but then I'd be giving up something that I love again and I don't wanna go through that whole stage of regret again.

This is depressing. I'm gonna sleep it off.

**I'm so sorry Sabbie :(
lallie | 1:49 AM

So another 19 minutes...

Okay the deed is done. It's now 12.24am and November the 14th. My family has completely forgotten it's my birthday. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Usually at this time or earlier they'd come bursting into my room. Oh well. I kinda prepared myself for this. I also prepared myself for nobody messaging me or calling. See, it helps to be a pessimist cos you don't get easily disappointed. Heh. This birthday officially sucks like all the others. Well, maybe except for last year.

Wait. Izzah Darling just messaged me! Yay! Haha. Thanks babe (:

Okay.. Now my brother just came into my room and gave me a big fat wet kiss on the cheek.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

But it still brought my eyes to be a bit wet la. Haha. I'm happy he's back from his stupid camp. Being here alone totally sucks.

Tomorrow, I mean today, will jalan with the SR peeps then on Wednesday with Fiza's group of people. In between them Sabbie will date me on Tuesday to watch Just Like Heaven to celebrate my birthday x). FINALLY!

Okay another interruption...

BIG :)

My mum and bro just came in singing the birthday song with cards and kisses for moi. I heart my family. I really shouldn't get all worked up over nothing before something happens. LOVELOVE <3 I like my brother's card:

Haha. Put a smile on my face. My parents' one is the sweeter type:



Did I mention how much I <3 my family? (X

Happy Birthday Prince Charles!
lallie | 11:41 PM

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!

I am now watching vasantham central and it is seriously interesting. All that dancing and singing. And they're also having this amazing race kinda thing which is in SERANGOON. I don't understand a word but I like.

Okay. I swear this will be the last(I hope) time I mention my retaining but I was thinking that this could be a blessing in disguise cos maybe retaindom=retainors? Hoho. Then I can kiss this metal away and have beauuutiful straight, white teeth. Hopefully white. And I'd only have to deal with retainors. Yeah man! That would be the life for me.

Was chatting to a certain Mr. Somebody just now and he's thinking of taking art next year cos he can draw a really nice fish. Haha. Total randomness but a funny inside joke :D

Another bit of randomness; I have settled on Soft Cell having made the nicest cover of Tainted Love which is the muse of this blog (like, DUH). Check it out if you wanna. Or for those pop people the Pussy Cat Dolls' one isn't too bad. Then of course there's Marilyn Manson and The Cure and The Ramones and.... Okay you get it. Its one of those songs that have that many covers.

If you want it that much then why do you keep pushing me away?

Indian guys can dance &
Kumar has really nice hair :O

I lurve my Sabbie Baybehh & HL bro & Dicky (:
lallie | 12:31 AM