I hate school. I hate dance. I hate everything. Roar to everything associated with SR apart from darling friends.

Yesterday had to hand in the damned GPF. I woke up late for one thing and thought I'd just ask somebody to forge my signature but in the end my group member persuaded me to come so I got ready and left the house looking like a mad woman and stood by the side of the road to get a freakin cab. It seriously didn't help that no cab was in sight/all cabs were busy/those that were free just zoomed past me PLUS William from TK crossed the road at that instant so I pretended I was busy focusing all my concentration on the traffic but the unavoidable smile and wave came and I could have just slapped my forehead there and then. Basket! Me looking like that.

Anyway in school Gan took up so much unnecessary time doing the stupid thing that I felt like just walking out the door but I couldn't do that to my group. AND THEN... Francesca wrongly paginated everything so I had to redo the first copy and I could have just broken-down. And then I got a message about a last minute dance practices and I seriously just lost it. Went to the toilet for a while to relax and calm down.

I think that was a really bad day. And I also think that I was a bit cranky which was why I was so emotional. I walked around the whole day looking as if my rabbits had just died which lead to people keep on asking me the classic questions "What's wrong?" and "Are you okay?" so I just grinned to make them feel better. I know, what's the point right?

So get this, tomorrow(today, rather) I have dance for four(4) hours. Yes, It's true :( Four freakin hours. Tell me why the freak do we need to have so many hours of practice for just one stupid show on the 5th of December which is not even a real show cos it's just a performance for the the JC2s on their graduation night. Does it matter? Seriously? Does it freaking matter? We're not even gonna be that good. Yes, I'm cynical but seriously. DO THEY HONESTLY THINK THEY'RE GONNA ROCK THE WHOLE PARTY? People won't give a damn. I mean it's their night, they'll forget about us by the end of the night. God!

Sigh. I don't know why it's so different now. I love dancing. In TK when we had performances I was willing and enthusiastic about going for rehearsals and stuff no matter how long we had to take. It's just the team. I don't get the team. I guess I'm not really one of them. I mean firstly, there's the language barrier cos of their frequent bantering in Mandarin. I don't mind but I think it's pretty obvious I don't understand what they're talking about but do they care? Nope. And they're just so different I guess. The screaming and the hugging and the kissing and the cute-ness is just SO not me. It's hard to fit in. Maybe cos it's cos I'm the "biggest girl in dance." Blah. If only I wasn't so insecure then I wouldn't care. I feel like just quitting but then I'd be giving up something that I love again and I don't wanna go through that whole stage of regret again.

This is depressing. I'm gonna sleep it off.

**I'm so sorry Sabbie :(
lallie | 1:49 AM